You are going to have to choose to follow Jesus, no matter what. But if you are going to follow Jesus, holiness is your only option. Your identity is not that you are gay – it is that you are a child of God. So please don’t tell anyone that you ARE gay. The feelings you’ve had for other guys don’t make you gay. But you are young, and your sexual orientation is still developing. We’ll get you their books…you can listen to their testimonies. But there are other men who have faced this same struggle, and God has worked in them to change their desires. But we know what God says about this, and so you are going to have to make some really difficult choices. We said all the things that we thought loving Christian parents who believed the Bible – the Word of God – should say: We had not seen this coming, and the emotion that overwhelmed us, kept us awake at night and, sadly, influenced all of our reactions over the next six years, was FEAR. But Ryan? He was unafraid of anything, tough as nails, and ALL boy. Not that we didn’t know and love gay people – my only brother had come out to us several years before, and we adored him. Mom says: I love you more for being honest Ryan says: and i am very confused about that right now Mom says: what about what God thinks about acting on these desires? Ryan says: u know that about yourself and i know this ![]() Ryan says: i am attracted to boys not girls Ryan says: u r not a lesbian and u know that. Ryan says: it’s just the way i am and it’s something i know ![]() Mom says: but what makes you think you are? ![]() Ryan says: i thought you would understand because of uncle don Ryan says: i can’t believe i just told you By now u probably have an idea of what i am about to say. I have been hiding this for too long and i sorta have to tell u now. Ryan says: well i don’t know how to say this really but, well……, i can’t keep lying to you about myself. Our twelve-year-old son messaged me in my office from the computer in his bedroom. On the night of November 20, 2001, a conversation held over Instant Messenger changed our lives forever.
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